Musings of the Day
Hear this read aloud below
I have visions, not hallucinations, but actual visions of past lives or something that Spirit is gifting me with as a message of guidance. Usually, I ask for something to come to me, but sometimes they just appear out of nowhere and I am stopped in my tracks. The vision I write about in the following paragraphs and the one depicted in the images I’ve created here, came unexpectedly. I was engaged in a conversation with someone who asked me a question and there it was. The whole picture unfolded before my eyes. Each image I’ve created came as a result of searching for words to describe what was appearing. Sometimes they speak much louder, but in this case the images and the words combined to tell a greater story. They tell of a phase of my journey to painting this new life, a phase that involved both surrender and challenge. For the first time I also had a vision of what I’d been seeking all this time and it has helped me overcome the fears and resistance to letting go of all that I need to. Sometimes visions come in pieces and this one has evolved as I have received further guidance from Spirit.
In my vision recently, I was guided to look upon a vast open vista and wander until I came upon those things that called to my soul. I was told that I would recognize them as my own. When I began my wandering through this unknown territory, it became clear that before I could ever reach the openness that I was originally shown, I would have to traverse a very rocky path. There would be trials and challenges along the way. I knew that I would be guided (as I always am), that I would be given signs to follow, and that I had within me whatever was necessary to climb through narrow passageways and over steep mountains. I’ve done it all my life. But this was different from all of the other journeys I had been on because I knew, without a doubt, that there was something waiting on the other side worth every challenge I had to meet along the way.
“…a deep woman has to keep going deeper, deeper and deeper into her sacred core until the purity is restored there. She has to pull out all the old magic that has been forgotten and disused. She has to walk a path of stones before she comes to her fresh garden. She has to remind her beleaguered heart that the wisdom lies in her body, her feelings and her never ending, flowing cycles of energy. She has to rise above her weariness again, and again and again. She has to persevere, remain, and stay alive even when she wants to leave. She has to keep going, Every day, every hour, every breath.”
With each step, the challenges on my journey back to myself seemed to grow in intensity. The passageways were narrower and the demons I faced, older and more powerful. One thing remained constant, my guiding force. Though there were times I couldn’t see beyond my next step, and it felt as if I had to walk through fire to take it, a presence in my heart would not allow me to turn back. The rocks became less forgiving, more ominous. I had to climb higher than I had ever been before. The air was thin so I could barely breathe, and I kept going. My vision led me through places I never would have ventured to go months before. There was something on the other side of those passages calling my soul home.
There was a time when I had no vision to guide me, only a faint sense that there was something more for me than the life I was currently living. I didn’t know exactly what I was seeking on this lifelong quest of mine. I called it freedom. I said that I was looking for my true self. But I had no idea what that actually meant. This has been a very long and arduous journey, one not many would consider embarking on. Had I known what it would be like before taking my first step, would I have begun? I only know that after all these years, I now have a vision of what I have been moving towards, one that has been calling to me most of my life from a far-off place that I couldn’t see. I have a vision so powerful that I am willing to take those last steps to embody it fully. These wanderings have led me to the edge of myself. I can see myself off in the distance, waiting for me to take those final few leaps, waiting for me to free myself to be who I have always been in my heart and soul. Waiting for me to be ready to spread my wings and fly. Waiting for my metamorphosis.
In my following journal entries you will read more about the metamorphosis I mention here. These wanderings are not over. There is so much more to the story...
These images can be found on my website here.
All are available as fine art prints in multiple media.