Musings of the Day
Life has had its way of letting me know when I’m not on my “right” path. In my case, being as stubborn and hard headed as I am, the guidance often comes in the form of a blow to the head. Sometimes literal, but fortunately, most often not. I don’t always heed the call when it comes or hear the soft whispers giving me clues. Sometimes I’m too afraid to listen, other times I’m too busy running in circles to notice when something is trying to get my attention until it whips me around in a fury and throws me to the ground requiring absolute surrender.
What is the “right” path? And how do we know we’re on it, or off it for that matter? I’ve been told that when we’re following on our given path, the one that is actually ours to walk, things flow. There is a peace and an ease to living. If that isn’t happening then we are not on our path. We’ve strayed and need to find our way back. But what if we have no idea where to look or what that path might be? What if all of our lives we’ve been living as if we were walking on our path believing that where we were heading was where we were destined to go?
There are so many questions that I have no good answers to, but there are some things I DO know that I’d like to share. Actually writing them down and saying them out loud helps me anchor into the truth that already lives within me. There is a lot I know, but am either too afraid to allow up to consciousness or too stubborn to see. Change is hard for me, as it is for many of us and something that I often resist. Letting go of what has been without knowing what’s next, can trigger great fear in me. I believe I’m not alone in this one either. But there comes a point when, after treading the same path over and over again with no positive results, change is the only sane option.
How do we tune into what we already know to make those changes, especially when feel clouded and lost? What is in the way of hearing those soft whispers that gently guide us back to our path? I say its fear. Fear can block just about everything. Without it, our ears, our eyes and our hearts, are open to whatever is being offered to us. Changing course in the absence of fear can be exciting and invigorating. It can uplift our spirits and give us hope. In the presence of fear, it serves only to build upon itself causing dread and anticipation of the worst.
I have been avoiding some things that I wasn’t aware I was avoiding. Hidden chinks in my plan that, had I not been made aware of now, could eventually ruin my life. I had a couple of wake up calls recently that sent me into a tailspin, because I have been off my path and not seeing how far I was straying. It’s not like I didn’t know deep down that there were things that were’’t really working, but I wasn’t ready to deal with them. When I asked Spirit to help me focus on what was most important, all hell broke loose in my world. The areas where I had been blind, came into the spotlight in a startling way. Now, changing course was the only option. But what course to take? I still didn’t know.
Imagine we’re trekking through the woods, following the path under our feet and fail to see that the path is leading us away from our intended destination. We will eventually be presented with an obstacle. Maybe trees fell on the path before us or a rainstorm washed the earth away and now there is no clear path to follow. We might wonder why there have been so many challenges on this journey. It was supposed to be a pleasant hike, but at every turn we kept encountering things that made it not only unpleasant, but almost impossible to traverse. When we follow a path that is our own, even the obstacles in the way appear easier to overcome. But when we’re headed in a direction that isn’t where we really need to be going, Spirit will block our way at every turn, attempting to deter us from getting too deep into the forest in the wrong direction.
If we don’t heed the warning signs, as I have failed to do of late, they get louder and harder to ignore. They are there FOR me, to guide me so I don’t get into more treacherous territory. Changing course? What if I see the signs now, but don’t know which way to go? I’m willing to change course, but where do I turn? The only place I know to turn when all else fails is to Spirit. To ask for the ability to see what I can’t see. To ask for a sign that I can recognize without doubt. And to surrender what I thought was my path and destination so that I can see the truth being presented to me.
I know that I know more than I am aware of. I know that fear is the thing that gets in my way of seeing and hearing what is already there. And I know that all I need is one step forward, not the whole destination. So today I muster my courage again, humbly ask again, and listen to the small whispers that arrive in my heart guiding me to my next step. One thing I do know is that at this point in my life, it is my heart that will receive those messages, not my head. I cannot think my way through this. Not anymore. Trusting what my heart knows and what it receives as guidance, takes all of my courage now. This is my compass from this point on.
If there is one lesson learned from this particular wake up call, it’s to set my conscious mind aside. Give it a rest. Let it serve my heart as its guiding beacon and work only to that end. My mind is too limited, too jaded by the past, to guide my way. It will only lead me in circles, winding up back where I’ve been before. My heart knows no bounds, only love. And love is the path to follow to wherever it is I’m destined to go.
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