Musings of the Day
Bringing Our Darkness Into the Light
There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but my making the darkness conscious.
I have been saying this for as long as I can recall. To hear it spoken by someone of such esteem has reminded me of my mission in this life. It has always been about a quest for truth and at times, the truth is not pretty and light. In my art, as in my life, my mission has been to bring the truth of the darkness into the light so that it can shine. To show that there is beauty in the darkness as well as in the light.
I am not afraid of the dark. I actually love it. Both figuratively and in life. I prefer dim light and nighttime to the brightness of day. I’ve been this way since I was a child, hypersensitive to my environment, both internal and external. My sensitivity is the very thing that enables me to sense what I sense and to create what I create. I feel things very deeply, both the highs and lows. I feel the energy around me, the pain of the earth and those who inhabit it. Animals seem to know that I can sense their emotions. Others who also seek the truth in themselves have been drawn to me. Those who shy from it tend to avoid my eyes. My sensitive nature increases my capacity for compassion, but it also heightens how much pain I am aware of. My own and others’.
Those who are not comfortable with their own darkness tend to find me too heavy. I am a mirror for what they are not open to in themselves. I have always been “too much” for most others, I’m afraid. As a child I asked questions that no none around me could understand, let alone answer. As an adult I have usually been the one to speak the truth when others would prefer watered down versions of reality. This has made me somewhat of a loner throughout my life and as a result I’ve felt like an outcast, but in my later years I am able to see the bigger picture and appreciate the gift of my sensitivity.
My current shift to finding joy in my life could only have come on the heels of years of unearthing the dark recesses of my consciousness. I know myself in a way that required me to re-visit a large degree of pain and allow myself to fully feel it and know it in my body so that I didn’t feel the need to run from it anymore. I believe that for most of us, there can be no real ecstasy without having known deep pain, just as we would not know daylight without the experience of the night.
My mission in life has always been to unearth truth and in doing so, bring the darkness into the light. I do this with my art by transforming the darkness into images and colors that others can appreciate as beautiful without their own fear blocking their sight. I do this by sharing the beauty of the darkness, the beauty and richness of the full experience of a broken heart, of loss and of grief. The darkness of our hidden desires and struggles. These are human emotions. Human experiences. And we have the capacity to experience them for a reason. Because that is what being human means.
To feel it all. To know it all. And then to choose by our own free will, where our lives will focus. This doesn’t mean we have to live in the dark. It means we get to choose, but there can be no real choice without knowing all that we have to choose from. There is no running from being human. When we attempt to avoid the dark, we will miss out on much of the richness and beauty available to us. We will miss out on much of life.
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